


Caring Is Not An Advantage

by acemindpalace



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, Feels, John pining after something he can't have, M/M, victorlock - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-03
Updated: 2014-05-03
Packaged: 2018-01-21 18:52:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1560512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acemindpalace/pseuds/acemindpalace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Painlock. This might not be what you initially wanted. I’m sorry. The story just kind of took on a life of its own. Enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Caring Is Not An Advantage

The first time that John met Victor Trevor, he literally ran into him. It had been a busy week. He’d been buying baby clothes and building things from flat packs, preparing for his daughter’s arrival. Mary suggested that he should visit Sherlock, because although John was a civilian, he needed the adrenaline that the detective provided him with in order to remain sane.

He had it all planned out in his head; go see Sherlock, help him solve a case, go home to Mary feeling a whole lot more settled. Victor Trevor had not been part of those plans.

When John ran through the door of the flat he collided with a hard and well-toned body. He took a step back and swallowed uneasily when he realised said body was naked, and wasn’t Sherlock. The man was startlingly handsome, with a jawline that could kill, and a set of golden brown hair that complimented the man’s tanned skin.

“Christ…” John breathed out, winded and flustered. Before he could ask who the mysterious man was he heard a blissful laugh floating from the bathroom. Wait, why did that laugh sound so familiar? He soon realised why, when the owner of the voice made himself present. Sherlock… a very naked Sherlock.

“Victor, I –“ Sherlock paused and looked at John with a mixture of surprise and shock. “Can I help you at all, John? You see, I’m rather in the middle of something.”

John’s first reaction was to take the whole thing as a wind up. This had happened before with Janine. This probably wasn’t any different. This was just Sherlock manipulating some poor bloke so that he could solve a case. However, when John really looked hard at Sherlock’s eyes, he realised that they were wide with what looked like arousal.

John wouldn’t know. He had never witnessed such a hungry and lustful expression upon the man’s face, and so he wasn’t certain. No. No. Surely not, not him, not Sherlock. He’s just a good actor, that’s all. There’s nothing romantic or sexual going on between Sherlock and this Victor fellow. There can’t be… there…

“John?” Sherlock questioned him, raising a sharp eyebrow and gesturing towards the door. “If you’re not here for anything in particular, would you just leave? As I said. I’m in the middle of something, and I do not care for this interruption.”

John shook his head, trying to make head and tail of what the hell was happening. “Oh, right, OK. I guess I’ll see you around?”

“I guess so.”

There was something about that reply that sent shivers down John’s spine. Sherlock sounded cold, detached, and even annoyed about John’s unannounced presence. Sherlock was usually so overjoyed when he paid him a visit. The detective seemed to pine after John like a lost puppy but now? Now it was like his company wasn’t welcome at all.

“I’ll just let myself out then.” He nodded towards the door. He felt an odd ache inside his chest when the younger man merely waved him off like he was nothing more than a boring client. With a thick swallow, biting down any emotion that he was feeling, John turned and left.

The last thing he saw was Sherlock grabbing hold of Victor’s hand and tugging him towards the bedroom. He tried not to notice how happy Sherlock seemed to be, because somehow that thought only caused the ache inside of him to increase in intensity. It should be a good thing that Sherlock’s happy, right?

John couldn’t help but think: I wish it was me making him that happy.

* * *

 

It was exactly two months later that John returned to 221B. At first he had been reluctant to go, but a very heavily pregnant Mary had insisted that if he didn’t go, then she would drag him there herself. She seemed determined to keep Sherlock and John’s relationship strong, probably because she felt immense guilt over nearly killing the detective, but it was more to do with the fact that she could see how much the two men needed eachother.

John knocked on the door lightly, shifting from one foot to the other. He wondered what awaited him inside. When he heard laughing his heart sunk, shattering on his ribcage. He felt like he was going to throw up, especially when Victor opened up the door, grinning at him with his whitened teeth. “Yes?”

“Um…is Sherlock in?”

He wasn’t sure why he was asking that. He could hear Sherlock shouting insults at the TV. John’s lips twitched slightly, a wave of nostalgia passing over him. He had introduced Sherlock to crappy television. It sounded like he was watching The Jeremy Kyle show, a particular favourite of theirs. Apparently, that pastime now belonged to Victor and Sherlock.

Victor looked at John through narrowed eyes. “Look, no offense, but Sherlock doesn’t need you anymore. He’s got me now. I’ve even started writing up a blog about all of the cases he’s been taking, so you no longer need to feel like running your one. We’re both fine without you, alright? You’re married now. Concentrate on that, OK?”

The door slammed in John’s face and he blinked. Had that really just happened? He stood there for a good few minutes as he tried to process the words.

Sherlock doesn’t need me. He’s fine without me.

John quickly whipped out his phone. He needed to talk to someone who knew Sherlock well. Perhaps then he could find out what was going on. It was a tossup between Greg and Mycroft. His thumb pressed down on Greg.

Need to talk. Pub. Now. – JW.

I’ve been expecting this for a while now. This is about Victor Trevor, yeh?- GL.

John blinked, shocked.

Yes, how did you know?-JW.

I’ll explain in person. Meet me at the usual place?-GL.

Yeh, sure, OK.- JW.

* * *

 

John shuffled into the pub, feeling completely dejected.

He heard one cheery yell of “ Cheer up mate, it could be worse!”

He sent a steely glare across to the drunken man that had spoken. “I highly doubt it.” He growled. The drunk man quickly scampered from the pub, the bartender screaming after him because he hadn’t paid.

John sighed heavily. He hated pubs. He wasn’t much of a pubgoer but it was a good a place as any to escape from your worries, and he had plenty of those.

He quickly spotted Greg. The silver haired D.I waved at him and handed him a pint. “Here mate, you look like you need it.”

“Yeh, I really do.” He took the pint and began to sip at it slowly. Mary would kill him if he got himself pissed. “So um…Victor Trevor?”

“An odd character, aint he? He’s fiercely protective over Sherlock. I haven’t been able to reach Sherlock in weeks. He’s stopped taking cases. It’s like the only thing he’s interested in is Victor. Don’t get me wrong, from the glimpses I’ve seen, they both seem happy. I feel like I should be over the moon for them both, especially Sherlock. I never thought I would see the day. Sherlock in a relationship? It feels odd, doesn’t it?”

“Very odd.” John agreed. “Do you think it’s a genuine relationship, or is this just one of his ridiculous ploys to solve a case?”

“I don’t know what to think. I just…there’s something off about Victor. Sherlock isn’t the type of man to just get into a relationship, which is why I think that there’s something entirely wrong about the picture we’re seeing. Maybe I should get Mycroft onto it?”

John frowned. “You think it’s that serious?”

“It might be.” Greg shrugged. “Who knows? That’s the thing. I know nothing. All I know is that Victor Trevor is bad news. I’ve seen his type time and time again. They look completely innocent, but there’s something much deeper and darker going on beneath the surface.”

John took a larger sip of his pint. “Is he in danger? Because if he is we have to get him out of that flat.”

Again, Greg shrugged. “How though? Even if Victor is a danger to Sherlock, there isn’t much we can do unless Sherlock himself reports it, or we see first-hand what Victor is capable of.”

* * *

 

When Mary went into labour John should have been overjoyed. Instead he couldn’t help but think things like :

Sherlock should be here. He should be by my side. He should be one of the first people to hold my baby girl. Sherlock is one of the most important people that I have ever met, and my daughter should be allowed to meet him.

He hadn’t been able to speak to Sherlock at all. Victor was now holding a visible brick wall between their friendship. It was killing John inside. What had happened to Holmes and Watson? What had happened to nothing changing between them?

John wanted to hate Sherlock for cutting him out of his life, he wanted to throttle some sense into him, but the problem was, all seemed well with the detective. In fact whenever he had caught glimpses of Sherlock, the man had seemed happier than John had ever seen him. John couldn’t hate the man for being happy. God knows he deserved it. If Sherlock was happy without his blogger in his life, then so be it.

John would just have to bring himself to live with that fact.

A sharp wail echoed out through the hallways of the hospital, signalling a presence of the newest member of the Watson family.

John’s eyes welled with potential tears but he didn’t let them burst forth. He didn’t cry when the nurse told him that he now had a healthy baby, he didn’t cry when he was holding his precious daughter, and he promised himself that he would keep it that way.

It was later that night that he broke his promise to himself. He was cradling his daughter in his arms. She was perhaps the most beautiful thing that he’d ever laid eyes upon; like a small china doll. His eyes flickered up to Mary’s sleeping face and he smiled weakly.

He loved Mary, he really did. Screw her past. As far as he was concerned she was still the woman he had fallen for. She was not his first love. His first love had been right beneath his nose for a long time, but he just hadn’t seen it. By the time he’d come to the realisation that he was in love, the man had thrown himself off a building like a speeding torpedo.

Sherlock.

John closed his eyes and sniffled, fighting back countless of emotions. His daughter wrapped her tiny hand around one of his fingers and gave it a tight and comforting squeeze. She was surprisingly strong for someone so small.

Images of Sherlock hitting the pavement with a horrid crack filled his mind. All he could see was blood, and although he knew that it wasn’t Sherlock, that the man was OK, he hadn’t at the time. The familiar feeling of hopelessness filled him, as if pure ice was filling his pulsing veins. Why hadn’t he seen it before that moment? Why had it taken the man’s fake suicide to get John to realise his own feelings? He’d left it too late…far too late.

His phone beeped. It was a text from Sherlock. John’s heart skipped a beat, and those tears he had wished away began to fall, thick and heavy. “You should be here.” He whispered. “I know you secretly have a soft spot for children. You should bloody be here. Not with Victor.”

Congratulations, John. I have no doubts that you will take to fatherhood very well. – SH.

He replied back quickly. His daughter gurgled softly.

Thank you Sherlock. I just…I wish things were different. What happened between us, Sherlock? We used to be close. You’re my best friend. Why are you cutting me off for this Victor guy?- JW.

I know. I wish things were different too. There’s no use in fretting though, John. Lives move on. It’s what people do. Marriage changes people. I don’t like this either, but I think it’s for the best. Really, I do. There’s no need to worry about me. I’ve already had Mycroft on my back. Just remember Victor isn’t the bad guy here.- SH.

John sucked in a sharp breath and then proceeded to do something reckless and stupid.

I love you. – JW.

Caring is not an advantage, John. – SH.

No, John agreed, caring isn’t an advantage.


End file.
